yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
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