I wanna bring you to show and tell
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
