We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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