Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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