$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
