It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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