I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
