Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
