this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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