At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I want to fling myself into the sun
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
