Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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