About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
