I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
