just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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