My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
