My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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