We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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