i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
