I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
