dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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