i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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