just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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