Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize
