i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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