no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
