I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
