the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
you win again, gameday.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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