I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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