Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
