Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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