we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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