Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
