Ambien. No doubt about it.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
