Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
