Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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