his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
i think my cat just said my name.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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