her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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