and next time when you feel me up, do it right
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
