That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
