I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm bleeding and have questions
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
