dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
