I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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