i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
