Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
