Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
