party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
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