the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
