my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
