I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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