these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
