the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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