Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Randomize
