my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
