ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
